But the reality is I am not strict. I don't consider myself as having this super self controle and discipline. I just chose my war. And my war is with sugar mainly.
When I was going to the gym, I felt that I wasn't strict enough to workout as hard or as long as I needed to lose weight. And when I was counting calories, I did not have the energy, the motivation, to carry on. The same thing when I did regular long walks, and bike rides.
I would self sabotage myself or reward myself. And I was always hungry.
Whatever the trick, the regime, the plan I tried to adhered to, the result was the same. I could not stick to it. Mainly because it was hard to keep going when you don't see any changes and your brain finds excuses to have a beer, a piece of cake, a chocolate bar...
And once I started eating I couldn't stop. I would tell myself that it was alright, that I had burnt enough calories, or that I had been good all week, all day, the entire afternoon.
No! Something else was at play here.
Little gremlins or pixies were hindering my progress. As far as I knew I was doing everything right. Still I felt like I was a slob, lazy and weak. It was another thing that I had to accept that I was not capable of doing. I wasn't built to be slim. Another notch on my board of failures. And the more of a failure I felt, the harder it was for me to get back onto it.
I am not strict. I found out who the culprit was and attacked head on.
It was carbohydrates, sugars mainly, and not replacing this energy source with another one. Fat is the only other energy source.
Once I made this change, then even counting calories was easy. And results were there even when calories weren't low. Cravings were gone. Energy levels were high. It made me want to go to the gym.
I told myself that all I had to do is to not give in to one thing, everything else would be easy. Even self discipline.
You could say I am allergic to sugars and carbs. They make me bloat like shellfish do to some people. Or you could say I was a sugar addict and finally got kicked off my drug habit. And as long as I stay away from it, I'm good.